Scarred Existence
by Lost Heart 89
Summary: The summer after Harry's fifth year, the Dursleys reach an all time low. When Severus Snape saves Harry, everything begins to change. Mentor!Snape, DMHP Slash, Cutting, Abuse, Rape, PTSD, and Other Issues! POSSIBLE TRIGGER! FULL SUMMARY INSIDE!


**Summery: The Dursley's had always treated Harry as if he were worthless, but summer after his fifth year they reach an all time low. When Severus Snape saves the boy from the torture he's receiving at the hands of his "family", he realizes he had been wrong about Harry all those years and vows to protect Harry from that kind of harm ever happening to him again; but can he protect Harry from himself? Will Draco Malfoy be able to help? Slash, Cutting, Abuse, Rape! POSSIBLE TRIGGER! DM/HP**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own it…which sucks…a lot. Even the chapter title isn't mine. I decided that I wanted to use song titles as the names of the chapters.**

**A/N: I warn you, this can get graphic! Possible trigger, read with caution!**

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

**.:Hell Is For Children:.**

Harry Potter struggled to breathe, but with every intake of oxygen, a sharp, stabbing pain ran through his chest. He had a feeling that many of his bones were broken, as he could barely breathe, let alone move.

Harry had been back at Number four Privet Dr. for no more than 3 days, and already Vernon's abuse left Harry wanting to die, just so the pain would stop; and yet Harry could help but feel that he deserved the treatment. After all, as far as he was concerned, he had killed his Godfather.

Sirius…

It was all his fault…

If only he hadn't been so stupid and had run right into a trap. If had just used a little bit of common sense, then Sirius would have never had to come after him; which would mean that he would still be alive.

All his fault…

Sirius was the only person he could remember that actually loved him. He was his only family.

Harry knew that the Weasleys cared for him deeply, that they considered him family, but it just wasn't the same.

Harry mentally shrugged; that didn't matter now. He was a burden, and he would never force himself upon anyone again. Besides, anyone who got close to him, died. He wouldn't be the cause of anymore deaths.

Then there was the prophecy. He knew he had to stop Voldemort; that he was the only one who could. He knew it was expected of him. He was already so much of a disappointment; he wouldn't allow himself to fail at yet another thing.

The problem was how could he be expected to kill the most evil wizard in existence, when his own uncle beat the living shit out of him, and he was powerless to stop it?

Harry had been terrified when Vernon began the abuse. The Dursley's had always been cruel to him, but they never went as far as to actually hit him. Well, Dudley had, and even Vernon to some extent, but never like this. It not got this bad.

Harry knew that Vernon blamed Harry for the "Freaks" threatening him. He had tried to tell his uncle otherwise, but there was no convincing the large man. Vernon was determined to punish Harry, and with some luck, he would beat the "Freakishness" right out of him.

Harry started when he was pulled from his ponderings by the sound he had become to dread; the clicking of his locks opening. He regretted flinching immediately, for it only caused him more pain.

Harry began to tremble with fear when Vernon Dursley walked into the room; that small amount of movement alone, caused his pain to increase.

Vernon handed Harry a quill and some parchment.

"It's time for you to write to the freaks who threatened me. I won't have them showing up here for all the neighbors to see. It's bad enough that they know we let you into the house, just imagine how they would react if they thought we associated with even more filth like that." Vernon spat.

"B-but…Uncle…Vernon…I c-can…barely…move…" he struggled to tell his uncle, in between gasps of air.

This was the wrong thing to say, as Vernon suddenly kicked him hard in the face.

"SHUT UP BOY! I SAID TO WRITE!"

Vernon's voice lowered. "Tell them that you are fine, and that we are treating you perfectly." Harry understood what Vernon meant. _Tell them you're fine, or you'll regret it._

Harry forced his fingers to grasp the quill, and wrote three, individual letters. One was to Ron, one to Hermione, and one to the Order. They all said basically the same thing: that he was fine, albeit a little depressed because of the events that took place at the end of the previous term.

Harry couldn't even find it in himself to say what that particular event was. Besides, he didn't want to admit to his uncle that Sirius had died, for he believed that Vernon would do far worse to him if he didn't have the threat of Harry's murderous godfather looming over him.

Harry handed the letters to Vernon, who ripped them from his grasp, read them over, grunted, and walked out of the room.

Harry sighed in relief (though it caused him great pain) when he heard the locks click shut. He couldn't believe that Vernon wasn't going to "punish" him for being the worthless, freak he was. However, his joy was dashed moments later, by the sound of his door being unlocked yet again.

_Merlin…No…_ Harry silently pleaded.

Vernon walked in and smirked at the boy lying on the floor.

"Now that that's done with…"

Harry tried to shrink back hoping make himself as small as possible in preparation for what he knew was coming.

Vernon began kicking any part of his nephew that he could reach. Harry cried out in pain, his sobs racking his whole body, causing the injuries being inflicted upon him to hurt so much worse.

"Please Uncle Vernon! NO! PLEASE!" Harry begged, knowing full well that it was useless. Harry was screaming at the top of his lungs, the beating on his already frail body becoming far too much.

"SHUT UP BOY! THE NEIGHBORS WILL HEAR YOU, AND THEN YOU'LL BE IN A WORLD OF TROUBLE! ONE MORE PEEP OUT OF YOUR DISGUSTING LIPS AND YOU WILL REGRET THE DAY YOU WERE BORN!"

Harry thought Vernon's wording was ironic, as Harry already regretted the day he was born.

Despite this thought, he fully understood the seriousness of Vernon's words, and he bit down on his lower lip hard enough to draw blood, willing himself to not make anymore noise.

However, it was for naught as he was unable to hold back the lone whimper that escaped him.

"WHAT DID I SAY DAMMIT?!"

When Vernon stomped out of the room, Harry knew that his uncle had something terrible in mind to inflict on Harry upon his return.

As Harry predicted Vernon stormed into the room once more, carrying a length of rope. He also noticed, with a small amount of surprise, that Dudley was trailing behind Vernon with his Smeltings' Stick in hand.

Vernon then swooped down on Harry. He picked up the fragile boy by his throat and tightened his fist, effectively cutting off Harry's air supply.

The small boy began to choke, trying, and failing, to pull Vernon's tight hold off him. He needed air or he was going to die of suffocation.

Blackness began to fill his vision, before his uncle finally let go, throwing him unto the "bed" that occupied the room.

Harry then found out why Vernon had brought rope into the room. The large man tied Harry's arms and legs to the bed posts, stretching his limbs as far as they would go.

Harry wished the pain would stop. The rope was pulling on his skin, stretching his many injuries, and it was causing him a great deal of agony.

Dudley seemed particularly excited by the horrible state his cousin was in. He looked gleefully at his father.

"Can I Dad?" he asked his happiness apparent. Vernon nodded in reply, and grinned evilly.

Dudley moved over to the bed that Harry was tide to, and in one fluid movement, brought his Smeltings' Stick down upon Harry's chest.

Over-and-over Dudley slammed his stick onto Harry's battered body with such force that everyone present was assured that Harry would have a great many welts by morning.

The obnoxious blonde was laughing hysterically, enjoying his abuse to no end. The beaten boy was sickened to see that Vernon was looking at Dudley with pride; delighted that his son was taking pleasure out of the suffering of others. Harry was suddenly reminded of how Death-Eaters must look when attacking their victims.

Harry's eyes widened in fear when Vernon came closer, clearly planning to join in on the "fun." He put one knee onto Harry's chest, deliberately applying pressure, and started punching Harry in the face, repeatedly, until finally, with one blow to the side of Harry's head, the young boy was knocked out cold.

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

Harry didn't know how long he was out for, but when he finally came to, his uncle and cousin were no longer present. He was in so much pain, and his suffering was made all the worse by his growing hunger and desperate need for water. He hadn't eaten since he was at Hogwarts.

Harry almost started to cry when he heard the clicking of the locks. He hated that sound. It always meant pain, and he didn't think he could take anymore pain in the state he was in.

Vernon stepped into the room, an evil glint in his eye. Harry had no idea what time it was; his watch had long since broken, and the windows were boarded up, blocking out any light that might shine through. However, he assumed it must be late, as his uncle had the tell-tail smell of liquor coming from him, signifying that he had been on one of his late-night visits to the local pub.

Harry shuddered at the knowledge that Vernon was not in his normal state of mind. He was bad enough on his own, without an inhibitor added to the mix.

Harry was extremely surprised to see that Vernon was carrying a plate with some bread and a small glass of water. It wasn't very much at all, but Harry hoped desperately that his uncle would give it to him; he needed food so badly.

Harry's desire for the items in Vernon's possession must have shown on his face, for Vernon smiled in what Harry thought was supposed to be a pleasant way, but was, in fact, rather terrifying.

Vernon bent down and looked Harry in the eye.

"You want this don't you? You want to eat this?"

Harry nodded feebly.

"Yes, please Uncle Vernon. I'm so thirsty; can I please have some water?"

Vernon continued to smile, and nodded. "Yes, of course you can; but you have to be a good boy. Can you be a good boy?"

Harry didn't like the way his uncle had spoken, but he needed food, so once again, he nodded his head.

"Y-yes…I promise."

"Good boys do what they're told. Will you do as I tell you?"

"Yes, please, I'll do anything." Harry sobbed. He didn't care what he had to do, he just needed the food; he was starving.

Harry thought that a few days without food would've been fine; however, he had also found himself throwing up quite a lot do to the injuries to his stomach.

"Anything?" Vernon said, his smile getting much wider.

"Yes…please…I beg of you…please."

"Okay, but remember, you have to do as you're told, or you won't get any food at all for the rest of the summer, and you'll be punished; bad boys deserve to be punished."

Harry was scared, but couldn't help it when he nodded again.

Vernon untied Harry's arms and legs, allowing Harry to move freely – or as freely as one can move when they are injured as terribly as Harry was.

Vernon's next actions horrified Harry. Vernon began to unzip his pants, and Harry almost gagged when his Uncle pulled out his member.

"Arouse me Boy." Vernon stated simply.

_No…oh please…why is this happening? Merlin…please…oh please…_

"U-uncle Vernon?"

"Did I not make myself clear? I said AROUSE ME!" Vernon began to raise his voice.

"No…please…not this…please."

"If you don't be a good boy, you will be starved for the rest of the summer. You don't want that do you?"

Harry was terrified, he didn't want to do this, but he needed the food, and he strongly believed his uncle might kill him if he didn't obey. Besides, he just didn't have the strength to fight back.

Harry nodded, making a decision that would change his life forever.

Reaching his arm out, he took Vernon's cock in his hand, and began to massage it. His movements were stiff, and slow; he was so scared.

Vernon wrapped his own hand around Harry's, seemingly showing him how to do it right. When Vernon believed Harry had gotten the hang of it enough to please him, he let go of Harry's hand, telling him to keep going.

Harry wanted to throw up when he heard his uncle's breath quicken and become ragged.

Vernon was now very hard in Harry's grasp, and the poor boy wondered how long he would have to suffer through this. Harry was hoping that Vernon would tell him he could stop, and that he would leave, and finish the job himself.

Vernon's next words were nothing of the sort. In fact, they were the furthest thing from it.

"Suck it." He demanded.

_NO! PLEASE! SOMEBODY SAVE ME! PLEASE! OH SWEET MERLIN! NO!"_

"P-please…Uncle Ver-"

"I FUCKING SAID SUCK IT WOULD WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!"

Harry was now far too scared to disobey, and wishing with all his heart that this would all me some horrible nightmare, wrapped his lips around Vernon's hardened piece.

Harry didn't know what he had expected, but it wasn't this. The pre-cum was salty in his mouth, and Vernon repeatedly bucked his hips, shoving himself further into the terrified teen's mouth.

It wasn't long before Vernon finally let out a moan and released his fluids into Harry's mouth. The boy was about to spit it out, when Vernon stopped him.

"Swallow it; now."

Disgusted and terrified Harry did as he was told.

_Finally, it'll be over now…he'll give me the food and leave me alone._

"Take off your clothes." Vernon told him.

"WHAT?!"

_No…not more…please…make it stop!_

"TAKE THEM THE FUCK OFF!"

"Why? P-please Uncle Vernon…please…no more…" Harry was sobbing, begging his uncle in sheer desperation.

Vernon turned bright red in anger, grabbed the small boy, and began to tear off all his clothes.

"NO! PLEASE!" Harry yelled, knowing without a doubt what was coming next. His uncle backhanded him and roughly flipped him over, shoving Harry's face into the mattress. Vernon grabbed Harry's legs, forcing them apart, and pulling Harry's his rear end up into the air.

Before Harry could do anything to fight back, Vernon shoved himself inside of the small boy.

"NO!" It hurt so bad…he didn't want this!

Vernon repeatedly thrust into Harry, harder and faster with each thrust. The young raven-haired boy sobbed, having given up on fighting back. Why should he? It was worthless now, Vernon had already deprived Harry of any innocence he had.

It seemed to go on for years. Harry just wanted it over with, but it wouldn't stop. It wouldn't end.

He could hear Vernon's labored breathing, and his moans of pleasure.

"Oh yes. So tight…yes, that so good." He grunted, causing Harry to shiver in disgust.

"Yes you're a good little whore aren't you? I'm sure those freaks think so too. I'm sure you whore yourself around don't you? Yes, that's because you make such a good whore. Such a good tight whore, oh yes, this is so good. Yes, boy, oh yes, you're everyone's little whore. It's good to know that you're useful for something."

Vernon continued to speak to the boy below him, however eventually his words became incoherent as they were mixed up with harsh breathing and moans of pleasure.

Just when Harry thought that it would never end, Vernon pounded hard into him, and cried out in ecstasy. He continued to rock his hips a little, until he finally pulled himself out of Harry, and pulled his pants back up.

Harry almost sighed with relief, knowing that Vernon would finally leave, but then Vernon grabbed Harry by his hair and dragged him downstairs and threw him into the cupboard.

Harry was surrounded by darkness, confined to a small area he barely fit into. He wished that the Dursleys had locked his things up in the cupboard again, but instead they were out in the shed.

Harry laid himself down, and began to cry.

He was disgusted with himself now…he had just allowed his un…no he wouldn't call _him_ that anymore…he had just allowed _Vernon_ to violate him. He had _allowed_ it, and it was all for naught; Vernon hadn't even given him the food and water he had been promised.

Harry's last thought before sleep overtook him, was that, now, nobody would ever love him again. If they found out what he had allowed to happen to himself, they would see him for the disgusting, worthless, unlovable, piece of shit he was.

He hated realizing without a doubt in his mind, that the Dursley's hurtful words towards him had been right all along. He was almost glad that Sirius had died before that summer. Now he would never have to know how disgusting Harry truly was, and all because Vernon had defiled him.

How he hated Vernon Dursley…

How he hated himself…


End file.
